


To the Moon and Back

by Ravens_World



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Family Feels, Gen, Hopeful Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:48:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24866320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravens_World/pseuds/Ravens_World
Summary: Alex tries to put his family back together.
Relationships: Alex Manes & Flint Manes, Alex Manes & Gregory Manes, Alex Manes & Mindy Manes
Comments: 18
Kudos: 84





	To the Moon and Back

**Author's Note:**

> Alex Manes Week!!! 
> 
> Funny story; seeing as I only recently graduated and am currently unemployed, I seem to have lost the ability to keep track of the days. I totally forgot about Alex week until yesterday, so I'm currently scrambling to get the works out. Hopefully I'll be able to post for every day of this week 🤞🤞
> 
> Happy reading!!

"Hey, mom." 

She whirled around, and Alex was only able to catch a glimpse of her face before she slammed into him, pulling him into a tight hug. He hugged her back and forced himself not to bury his face in her neck, forced himself to keep his emotions in check. 

When he pulled away, she loosened her hold on him, but didn't let him go far. She framed his face in both her hands and smiled sadly, wistfully. "Oh, look at you," she exclaimed, eyes roaming his face, "my beautiful boy."

Alex smiled, but he could feel it wavering as his lips quivered with the effort it took to keep his emotions in check. "How have you been?"

"I've been alright, baby." She took his hand in hers and all but dragged him into the Crashdown. Alex stared at their joined hands and tried to remember the last time his mother had held his hand. It had to be when he was seven, on the night she'd left them. She'd come into his room some time after everyone had gone to sleep and slipped next to him in bed. She'd gasped and hissed as she settled next to him, and Alex, at age seven, hadn't known what those noises had meant. When he'd asked her why she was there, his mother had cried softly, and did her best to hide it. He'd done his best to hold her with his tiny arms and she hadn't returned his hug, but she'd taken one of his hands and kissed it.

 _"I love you,"_ she'd whispered against the skin of his hand, eyes closed.

 _"To the moon and back,_ " Alex had whispered back.

His mother chose the table furthest back and kept hold of his hand even after they sat down. It was overwhelming, and it was really weird. She'd always been free with her affection; something his father had never approved of as he thought babying them made them weak. She'd never been deterred, though; had always kissed their skinned knees and smothered them with hugs after school and slept with them in their beds after a nightmare.

An ache settled deep in his chest as he remembered how loved he and his brothers had been back then. He wondered if now, after almost twenty years of only minimal contact, she still loved them as much as she had back then.

"Alex, honey? Where'd you go?"

He shook his head, and with it willed those thoughts away. _What's done is done,_ he tried to convince himself _, there was no use crying over spilled milk._ Taking a deep breath, he smiled, small and genuine. "Nowhere. I'm here," he said as he squeezed her hand. 

Her smile, which had dimmed a little when he'd zoned out, was back in full force. "So, tell me about you! Tell me everything." 

Alex laughed softly, looking down. "There's really nothing much to tell." When her face fell, he hastened to add, "but you can ask whatever you want to know."

She brightened considerably. "Well, let's get some of the boring stuff out first; still in the air force?"

He laughed, not as offended as he thought he should be. "Yes. At least for another two years."

"Hi, captain Manes," the new waitress, Anna, smiled brightly at him, then at his mother. "Can I take your order?"

"Little Green Man milkshake with a side of fries."

She quickly scribbled the order down then turned to his mother. "And for you?"

"Just the milkshake."

Once Anna left, his mother turned to him with a raised eyebrow. "Do you still dip fries in your milkshake?"

She sounded exasperated, but fond, and Alex just shrugged with a smile. "It tastes good."

"It really doesn't, but I'm done trying to convince you of that. Now, where were we?" Then she snapped her fingers. "Ah, yes, you were telling me about your love life."

He raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "I really wasn't."

"Oh, come on, give me something? There's no way there isn't someone in your life."

"And why is that?"

"Are you fishing for compliments?"

He shook his head with a chuckle. "There is _someone_."

She clasped her hands tightly and put both under her chin, her smile wide. "Tell me everything."

"There's really not much to tell. We went on one date and he's- he's a good man. I just-" 

She patted his hand, and her excited smiled turned into a soft one. "You don't have to have it all figured out right now, honey."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Gregory tells me you kissed a boy in a crowded bar full of cowboys, right after you sang a song that you _wrote_ ," she started tentatively and the there was pride in her words. It seemed like she was extending an olive branch. "What's it about? Do I get to hear it?"

His smile dimmed and he looked down. "It's about-" _me_ , he wanted to say. _It's about the man I'm in love with. It's about my life, every part of it that you missed._ He didn't say any of it, though. Alex had never been one to use his words for the sole purpose of hurting someone, and he knew that one would hurt her. 

Alex looked out the window at the street just to avoid his mother's knowing eyes. His silence was deafening in the space between them and so he changed the subject to something safer. "Since when do you and Gregory talk?"

Her eyes softened and filled with tears. "Since you called me from his phone and forced us to talk." She covered their clasped hands with her left hand and stroked his with her thumb. 

"I don't remember you did much talking, mom. A lot of screaming, but very little talking."

She rolled her eyes. "Our first conversation wasn't very civil, you're right. But then, we figured it wasn't fair that you were the only one trying."

Tears gathered in his eyes and he did his best to push them back. If his mother noticed, she was kind enough to not say anything. "I'm happy you're here."

"I'm happy you called me, baby." He looked down at the table. "I wanted to come back to see you but it felt like it was too late." 

"It's never too late, mom. Not when it comes to family."

His mother sniffled and laughed, the sound melodic and joyful, and he found himself smiling. 

"You are the best of us, do you know that?"

"Mom-"

"Do not even try to disagree, kiddo." Her smile turned sad. "Do you know why I left?"

Alex nodded hesitantly. "Dad used to- he used to hit you a lot. I remember-" Alex breathed in deep and desperately pushed back the memories threatening to resurface.

To his surprise, his mother shook her head. "That's not why I left. The first time your father hit me, Clay was two and Greg was just a baby. He hit me because I couldn't get Greg to stop crying. I- I knew your father wouldn't let me take them with me, so I stayed because I couldn't bear to leave them behind. And then you and Flint came along and it got harder and harder to leave."

_But in the end, it wasn't that hard, was it?_

"-I stayed with that bastard for fourteen years for you and your brothers. And I left for _you_ , Alex."

He stilled and when he looked at her, he could tell she was telling the truth. He tried to pull his hand back, but she didn't let him.

"I was seven," he said, angry, but mostly filled with a deep-seated sadness. "How could your leaving have been for _me_?" 

Her breath stuttered in her chest. "You tried to protect me." 

Alex frowned. "What?"

"A few days before I left, your dad and I got into a fight. You woke up in the middle of the night because he was screaming and when you walked in, I was on the floor and he was kicking me," she let out a huff of a breath, eyes glistening. "You stepped in between us. You didn't try to push him away, you didn't scream at him; you just put yourself between me and him. And that's when I knew I had to leave."

"Because I tried to protect you?" Alex asked, confused. He didn't remember the night she was talking about, but he didn't believe she was lying to him; she had no reason to. 

"Yes. I could handle the pain just fine. I could pretend that I was fine for you and your brothers, and they pretended they believed me. But you," she stretched across the table and stroked her hand across his cheek. "You were different. Even when you probably didn't understand what was going on, you tried to help. And that was why I had to leave. Because I didn't want you to get hurt because of me; because I knew he wouldn't hurt you, any of you."

Alex choked on his own breath and trampled down the hysterical laugh that threatened to bubble out of him. "But he did," he told her, barely able to get the words out. "He did hurt me, mom. So you left for nothing," he told her bitterly. "Look, I don't blame you for leaving, and I think it's okay that you did, but don't use me as an excuse."

A shadow passed over her features; Alex wouldn't call it anger, but it was a sort of hybrid between sadness, disappointment and exasperation. "I'm not. I'm just trying to tell you why I left, Alex." She carded a hand through her hair and shook her head. 

"You left me with a monster, how was that protecting me?" 

"He never would've let me take you."

"You never even tried!" He snapped, drawing the eyes of a few customers. He didn't care.

"I knew he'd never let me, Alex, you have to believe me. No one would have taken my side over his, not back then." 

"For a long time, I thought you left because you didn't love me. I grew up with an abusive father and three older brothers who cared but never enough to actually help me and a mother who left without a goodbye. Tell me something, mom; if I hadn't contacted you before I shipped off, would _you_ have?"

She bristled and he could see her gearing up for a fight before she deflated. They stared at each other, both breathing hard, and she sighed. "I don't know. I always hated myself for leaving you. I figured you might, too."

"I've never hated you, mom."

She gave him a skeptical look. "You must have, at some point."

He shook his head. "I couldn't even hate dad and he gave me a reason to every time he so much as breathed, so what makes you think your leaving is enough reason for me to hate _you_?"

"I'm sorry." His mother stiffled a sob and took the tissue he offered her with a trembling hand. "I love you so much, baby."

He bit his lower lip, and sniffled as tears gathered in his eyes. "I love you, too, mom."

She cleared her throat delicately and brought his hand up to her lips, placing a kiss at the back of it. "Thank you." 

Alex just smiled. Then, he sobered and cleared his throat. "We need to talk about Flint, mom."

* * *

The drive back from the diner was almost entirely silent, and Alex suspected it was because his mother needed to process the information he'd dumped on her a few minutes ago in regards of Flint. He'd given her a heavily edited version of the events that had led them to this point, and had asked her to come back to at least show Flint that he still had people that cared about him. Gregory hadn't been on board at first, and Alex had been on the recieving end of several long rants about why Alex should just take a step back and realize that not everyone could be saved. His brother had eventually caved when he realized that Alex would go ahead with it with or without him, but he'd made sure to make his opinion known at every opportunity. 

When they entered his house, it was eerily quiet. Alex waited for his mother to enter before he followed, closing and locking the door behind him. "Flint, we're home!"

There was no response, but it wasn't like Alex was expecting one, so he shrugged it off. He made a beeline for the kitchen and started on the coffee. "Make yourself at home, mom."

She wasn't paying much attention to him, though, instead he saw her explore his house with a sort of wonder that saddened and pissed him off in equal measures. He wondered if that feeling would ever go away when it came to his mother. 

When the coffee was done, he poured three mugs, and left the kitchen in search of his brother and mother. He found them in his guest bedroom, which was technically Flint's room now, and paused before he opened the door as he registered arguing. 

"I just want us to try," his mother was pleading, voice somewhat muffled through the door.

Flint's answer was unclear and Alex considered going in to try to mediate, but eventually decided not to. He put the mugs on the coffee table and carefully sat on the couch. He rubbed his right leg absentmindedly and sighed, letting his head fall back against the back of the couch.

A minute or two later, the door opened and suddenly Flint and his mother were right behind him, screaming their heads off. Alex wondered if he should just give up now, and he allowed himself two seconds where he chose his peace of mind and kicked them both out, before he got up and got in between them. 

"Stop." He commanded, voice loud and clear and demanding attention. When two sets of dark eyes were on him, Alex pointed to the couch and had them both sit there. He handed each one a mug and sat in the middle. 

Flint opened his mouth and Alex immediately held up a hand. "Drink your coffee, then we'll talk."

Flint slammed his coffee cup on the table and stood up to leave. "Flint," Alex snapped. His brother looked back at him, and though his face was set in stone, Alex could see in his eyes a multitude of emotions; fear, helplessness, but most of all, hurt. Alex allowed himself to visibly soften. "Sit down. Please."

"Why the hell are you _doing this_?" Flint exploded. "I kidnapped you. I held a gun to your head and I was downright cruel to you most of the time. And her-" he pointed at their mother angrily. "You were seven when she left us! I used to hear you cry yourself to sleep every night for a month after she was gone. Do you know," this was spat at their mother, "how many times dad found him sleeping by the door waiting for you to come back? He'd drag him up to his room by his hair, you know."

"Flint, stop," Alex pleaded with him.

His mother was sobbing freely by now and Alex took her hand in his, squeezing in comfort. Flint laughed bitterly and shook his head at him. "You're an idiot. And you're naive for thinking we could ever be a family."

"Screw you, Flint!" Alex stood up and got in his brother's face. "You think I don't know exactly who you are? Like it or not, I know you. Right now, you're just a scared little boy and whether you admit it or not, you want us to be a family as much I do. So get your head out of your ass and just _try_."

They were both shaking by the time Alex stopped talking, and Alex felt glimmer of hope rise in his chest when Flint made an aborted move towards the couch. But then his brother shook his head and took a step back. "Flint-"

The slam of the door echoed in the silent house and when Alex looked back at his mother, she was standing, and the look in her eyes was apologetic. 

His heart sank. "You're leaving?" 

"You heard him; he doesn't want anything to do with me."

He shook his head. "He's scared, and he's hurt. He's done a lot of bad things and he's just seeing the lie in everything dad has taught him. He doesn't know it, but he can be good, mom. And we need to show him that. Don't give up, please."

"At some point, baby, you have to accept that not everyone can be saved and not everyone can be changed."

"And at some point, _you_ have to stop giving up on things just because you _think_ you know the outcome. You have to stop giving up before you even try," he snarled . "You abandoned him, _us_ , when he was nine years old. Contact between you two has been almost nonexistent in the past twenty years. Did you honestly expect this to be _easy_? Did you expect him to welcome you with open arms?"

"No," she answered. "I expected it to be impossible, because I know your brother and I know he'll never forgive me."

Alex shook his head and felt anger claw at his throat. "Why did you come, then?"

"Because I missed you. And because you called and asked." 

Alex reeled back at the answer, at the truth of it. His mother had come here convinced there was no hope in trying; she'd come to prove a point. "Fine. If you want to go, just go. We've lived twenty years without you, we can do it again."

He turned on his heels and raced into the kitchen, unable to watch her leave. Once he heard the door click shut, Alex let out a breath and braced his hands on the kitchen counter. He should have known it would have been too good to be true when his mother had readily agreed to come back to them. He should've known she wouldn't stick around. He pushed away from the counter and headed to Flint's room. He knocked once and entered when there was no answer. He found his brother on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Alex wordlessly crossed the distance and settled beside him. Flint tensed but didn't say anything. 

"I'm sorry I didn't give you a heads up. I should have."

Flint scoffed. "You're an idiot. We'll never be a family, Alex. Deep down, I know you know that."

"You're wrong," he told him stubbornly.

"Seriously? You're not stupid, Alex, so what makes you think you can fix us? What makes you think _I_ can be fixed?" His voice cracked and the words he'd probably wanted to be bitter and angry turned only showed Alex how scared he was. It honestly sounded like Flint wanted Alex to contradict him. 

"I stopped locking the door to this room two weeks ago, Flint. I've been alone with you in this house for three weeks now and I know you could've left any time you wanted but whether you like it or not, you stopped _wanting_ to leave." Alex inched just a little bit closer, enough for their shoulders to touch. "That's how I know you want to be better. I'm never giving up on you."

"Why?" Flint whispered.

"Because you're my brother." Alex felt him shudder and then his body started shaking. He wordlessly got up off the bed and left his brother's room, hoping that he at least managed to get through to his brother.   
.....  
....  
...  
..  
.  
Alex, for the next week, split his time between work and home. He made sure to check in on his brother multiple times in the day. Sometimes they spent the whole time sitting in silence. Sometimes Alex was the only one who spoke. Sometimes they both did, though that seemed to consist of Alex trying to bring up good memories and,more often than not, Flint choosing to retort with some of their worst. Alex wasn't deterred, and he kept trying until Flint surprised him when he voluntarily stepped out of the room and into the living room. Alex did his best to act normal and not show how happy this development made him. 

He handed him the remote. "You pick the movie," he told him. "You want a beer or something else?" 

Flint just nodded. Alex took that to mean he was fine with whatever. He brought the beer, handed Flint one and took the second for himself. 

When the movie was over and Alex stood to tidy things up, Flint held onto his wrist, grip so light Alex barely felt it. At Alex's questioning look, he opened and closed his mouth, then opened it again, but no words came out. Alex understood. He smiled tentatively and recieved a nod in return.

 _Baby steps,_ he reminded himself.

Baby steps.

* * *

Putting Gregory and Flint in the same room was a recipe for disaster, but Alex did it anyway. Thirty minutes into their time together and he was beginning to regret it, though. They were either passive aggressively taking jabs at each other or being downright assholes. Playing middleman was exhausting and Alex was practically at the end of his rope. 

"You're supposed to put the sauce _before_ you add the-"

"I've done this a million times, would you stop butting in-"

Why on earth he thought them cooking dinner together would be a good idea was beyond him. But here they were. Alex had been banned from the kitchen seeing as he was a disaster with regards to cooking, so that had left him sitting in the living room, the TV on and trying desperately to find a volume that was loud enough that he didn't hear his brothers' heated exchanges, but low enough that he would hear them if things escalated past that point. 

When the doorbell rang, Alex frowned and wracked his brain to try to figure out who it could be. When he opened the door, he spent a good thirty seconds staring at the woman standing at his door. 

" _Mom_?" 

"I hear it's family dinner night, is there room for me?"

"Always," he blurted out, flinging his arms around her in a tight hug.

Her hand stroked through his hair soothingly and he buried his face in her neck, inhaling her sweet scent. "Who told you?" 

She pulled back and held his face in her hands. "Flint and I have been talking and he mentioned the dinner. Said I should come. So, here I am."

"I'm glad you did."

There was the sound of the clatter of some pots and then the sound of his brothers snapping at each other, their voices growing louder by the second. Alex winced and looked at her desperately. 

His mother laughed, and he closed the door after she was inside. He grabbed her jacket and caught her fond smile. "How long has that been going on?"

"Ever since Greg got here. I was going to suggest take out, but they would've bitten my head off."

She patted his cheek and rolled up her sleeves. "I've got this."

About a minute later, a disgruntled Greg came stalking out of the kitchen. He all but threw himself on the couch beside Alex, who did his best to keep his amusement off his face. 

"I can't believe she took his side," he muttered. 

Alex couldn't help it, he laughed. "Now you know how it feels to be kicked out of the kitchen."

"Yeah, but _you_ suck, Alex." 

He shoved him, hard, and Greg nearly fell off the couch. His brother glared at him, and Alex smiled. Greg's face softened and he smiled too. "You seem happy."

Alex shrugged, then looked back at his kitchen. His mother and Flint were standing side by side in front of the stove, heads bent and talking quietly. "You have no idea how much I wanted this. Just us being a normal family. I never thought we'd actually get to this point, though."

Greg put an arm around his shoulder and dragged Alex into his side. "You know it's all you, right?" Alex started to shake his head, but stopped when Gregory gave him a look. "None of us would be here if it weren't for you bringing us together. You dragged Flint into your home, kicking and screaming, and now he's- Alex, he's the Flint I remember. He's still an asshole," he added hastily, grinning, "but he's better now, and that's all you. And mom-" Gregory shook his head. "Thank you, little brother." 

Alex, eyes burning from unshed tears smiled and patted his brother's knee. He didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. 

"Boys, come set the table," their mother called out to them, words effectively cutting the tension.

The kitchen was a bit messy when he and Greg entered, and Alex only noticed how small it was when the four of them crowded in. It was a bit chaotic for a few minutes as they navigated around each other and Alex loved every second of it. He _savored_ it.

Dinner was a study in awkwardness, with a few moments of levity here and there. His mother seemed to be trying too hard, Flint wasn't trying hard enough and Greg was acting like a bodyguard to Alex at every opportunity. But they were trying and he couldn't ask for anything more than that.

Greg was the first to leave as it was a school night, and Flint retreated to his room soon after, leaving Alex and his mother to clean up.

She washed while he dried, both basking in the quiet.

She handed him a glass. "Thank you," she whispered as she continued to scrub at a plate, a content smile on her face.

"What for?" 

"For calling me. For asking me to come, which I know wasn't easy for you. For giving me a much needed kick in the ass a month ago. For bringing us back together when I know we didn't make it easy." She shrugged. "Take your pick."

"I'm just glad we got to this point, mom."

She handed him the last dish and once he dried it, she surprised him by pulling him into a tight hug. "I don't know if I get to say this considering I had no hand in you becoming who you are now, but I am so, so proud of the man you you've become."

Alex hugged her back, just as tightly. "I love you, mom," he chocked out, voice no louder than a whisper.

He could hear the smile in her words when she whispered back: "I love you, too, baby. To the moon and back."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked my version of mama manes. Let me know what you thought


End file.
